Not the summer we planned on: Team Bandit

First, I want to say thank you. To all of you.

I know I haven't kept up with all of the messages of hope you've sent, but I'm reading them, and just super focused on Bandit. I will continue to keep updates about him online, so you can follow the general progress even if I don't get back to you personally.

Right now we're figuring out serious logistical questions. Provided he comes home safe and sound from the hospital, we are now suddenly in a city where we have many friends, but no real home. While we have had many really generous and heartfelt offers of couches to stay on, and lofts to occupy, his recovery is going to require so much time and energy at first that I wouldn't be comfortable imposing in that way on anyone. And I'm already so emotionally drained, I can't imagine sleeping on a couch either, or bouncing around from location to location for an indefinite amount of time. And I certainly can't drive him back across the country to get back home, because that would be reckless.We need a space we can just focus 100% on his care.

Currently we're looking for a studio downtown to sublet for a month that allows dogs. Hopefully that will be enough time to get past the worst of this, and hopefully all of you will visit us constantly. My hope is still to go up to the Christine Center, but I can't make plans to do anything until I see how the little man does and what kind of ongoing care he needs.

He survived his surgery, which turned into two surgeries, because they were unable to stabilize his sacrum at the bottom of his spine. His pelvis is now plated on both sides, and his tail is amputated. The nerves going to his tail and at least one side of his anus are completely severed, meaning those areas are permanently paralyzed. The muscles on the other side of his body were so inflamed, they don't know if the nerves to the other half of his anus are severed, but considering the extent of the damage, assume so. He was under anesthesia much longer than expected, and he's only a very little guy, so he's under constant observation. He has only eaten once this week, and is on an IV fluid drip. Our major concern is that he doesn't have much urine coming out of his catheter, even while on so many fluids. Despite an ultrasound, and putting dye in his system to look for leaks and finding nothing, it's a little alarming that he's still not urinating at anywhere near the rate he should be. This means even more tests and more time in the hospital until I can hold him again.

At this point we are looking at a lifetime of diapers, and possibly a future leg amputation depending on whether or not his nerves regrow properly on the left side of his body. Puppy incontinence is not like a baby or a person: he will release stools almost constantly. Not only does that require diapers, but, in addition, he will probably need multiple baths a day to keep from getting infections and irritations as a result. The incisions from cutting his tail and fixing his sacrum will be in exactly the same area where he's spreading manure on himself, so it's really critical to keep him clean as frequently as possible. Of course, Bandit hates baths.

He also seems mentally to be completely unaware of the fact that his body is not exactly the same as it was before. Which means he tries to move around, cries out in surprise that it hurts, and then tries to move some more. Rinse, repeat. His personality and spunk are still 100% intact. He'd like some bacon and cuddles please.

However, he is going to spend the next six weeks predominantly in a cage. Despite the fact that he hasn't been in a cage in four years, because he has a severe traumatic reaction to being in one. (This is another reason I don't feel comfortable putting him in someone elses home, because there are likely many hours of heartfelt and confused wailing ahead).

Several of you have offered money. And I have had mixed feelings about this. The Midwesterner in me says "I've got this. Don't worry, I'll find a way. I always do." And many of you have already donated to my brother's fund, and NAMI, and it feels like it's been a year of all of you taking care of me. Which is beautiful. But, it's also hard to feel like so much is so one-sided. (Does anyone need their lawn mowed? Or... a hair cut? I could learn to cut hair...)

Having said that, Bandit's care is probably the most expensive thing I will ever pay for in my life, short of buying a home or an Audi (one of which, I am pretty sure I will never buy). And even if I can find a way, even if I am fiercely Midwestern and independent to a fault, you may want to help. Because you love Bandit, because you love me, or just to feel a little less helpless in the face of an inexplicable and unexpected tragedy, or a million other reasons. And honestly, all of this is so expensive that I can reassure myself that realistically, no matter how much you donate, I will still have plenty of credit card debt to feel self-sufficient about for quite a long time to come.

This is strange to me. I have never bought Bandit a new leash or collar in the four years I've owned him. Everything he has is a hand-me-down. Aside from dog food, and rabies vaccines, we have lived a simple life together. Except now I'm the woman signing paperwork about resuscitation measures and blood transfusions for her dog.

All of this makes me wonder what planet I'm living on.

But, I had to make a decision, while still in shock, to put him down or go ahead with trying to save him... and this year of all years did not feel like the time to let him go without a fight. This little guy has more than saved my life a hundred times over. So, we are doing this, whatever it takes. Because, really, it didn't feel like there was any other option. Diapers or not. When you get a chance to see him, you will see for yourself that in his head, he's still exactly the same puppy just trying to get his polar bear to cuddle with him just right, and who will get sassy with you if you stop petting him when he clearly wants more.

So, if you want to donate, I am resigning my Midwestern self to letting you. An amazing friend already set up a site you can donate at. Because, yeah, I have amazing people in my life. You can follow this link here: http://www.gofundme.com/2xnjbk.

This is my baby. This is my family. And he is irreplaceable, no matter how many limbs he has at the end of this. And I'd be an idiot to not accept help considering how each time we go see him, the estimates for his care seem to rise by another thousand dollars. It is inspiring to see the support from all of you, whether in the form of messages, donations, hugs or prayers. As far as I'm concerned, you are all amazing, wonderful people. And as far as he is concerned, he'd like you to give him some some of your dinner please, and if you'll let him, to drink out of your water glass rather than his own bowl.  (He's a dog, not a person??)

I will post more pictures and updates as they come in. Your prayers and love keep us going. This was not the summer we planned on. But it's the summer we have now. And we're going to spend a lot of time cuddling. Once he can do that again without being in pain.

Namaste.


**If you have any difficulties donating, or have questions in regards to that area, please email Emily at ekiddoo@gmail.com. She is handling everything financial on my behalf.