8 Steps to (Almost) Write a Dissertation in Two Weeks

For those of you who have been following along on Facebook or elsewhere, you are aware my dissertation writing timeline got compressed for reasons beyond my control, and I was given two weeks to produce a full draft. Who would even attempt such a feat? 


Well... me. 


I tried it. I just dove in  figuring “hey, what can it hurt? Even if I don't finish, maybe I’ll get a lot done…” 

Today is the end of that two weeks, and as many people expected... no I did not finish my entire dissertation. I began with seven pages and I’m ending with around 75 (many more having been discarded along the way). I still have one chapter that’s not quite done and one that is only outlined. And all of them will undergo major revision pending committee member edits. But at least I’m not embarrassed to send them out. And heck, I wrote MOST of my dissertation in about two weeks!

I’ve learned a lot from this great writing spree experiment. And in the interest of showing support to others who may go down some version of this path in the future, here are some things that I learned in my own journey.

       1. Have ground rules.

You need to have a bottom line of how hard you’ll push yourself, when you’ll stop and when you’ll take breaks. You might have to learn this the hard way, like while you're lying on your bed crying on a Saturday night because you’re too tired to walk two blocks with your really nice, supportive friend who’s trying to buy you a drink so you can have fun for an hour. Or you may identify that limit in other ways by asking “when was the last time I didn’t wear yoga pants? I mean, THIS PAIR of yoga pants?” Figure out what these signs are for you, and try to return to a middle way. The point is to come out of this alive, and possibly even happy.

2     2. Give yourself permission.

Treat yourself. Eat all the delicious, expensive, convenient food you can. Get a massage every week. Go see your chiropractor. Get a haircut. Whatever makes you feel good. And try to do something like that every day. You are not frugral and writing a dissertation in two weeks. You are not going to do without. You are going to worship your body fully and completely. And sometimes that costs money. You will have a job soon. Eat theses costs. Money is easier to replenish than an exhausted mind/body/soul. Go to the expensive yoga class, or the fancy movie theater or whatever will buy you an hour or two of self-care. You need to cultivate time for pleasure and joy, because those practices will sustain you. And some things are free. I can’t tell you how many episodes of Gilmore Girl’s I watched. Not one of those moments was wasted.

3     3. Find the people who love you.

You can’t do this alone. We often think that love looks like the devoted partner who does everything needed when you're stressed: reassures you, paints your toenails, cooks for you, walks your dog, etc. And maybe it can. But I’m single, and I still felt surrounded by love and blessed by the entire community that sprang up to support me. I am so grateful to all of the acquaintances who let me write with them so I wasn’t alone all the time. I also learned I had some pretty amazing friends who made me meals, reassured me that whatever I was going through was perfectly OK, and even walked my dog. The people who loved me showed up for moral support, whether via text messages or hugs or by dropping off bags of comfort food.I’m humbled by the sight of all the generosity I experienced. I know I can never repay it all. I probably won’t even have a chance to try. That’s grace. Accept it. People love you.

4     4.You will have low points. And high points. Progress happens among and between them.

I had mornings where I felt excited to sit down and write. I had nights where I felt accomplished and good. I also had nights I lay awake worrying, or evenings where I came home in exhaustion, having felt like I’d been trying to corral gnats or had nothing to show for myself. I had times I felt like I couldn’t do it. I had two days I just slept, in exhaustion and sickness, and I had to give myself permission to not write. I also got carpal tunnel injections, which led to not one, but four half-days of work because I was in too much pain to write. The night I got the injections, the anesthetic wore off, and I just sat on my futon whimpering and feeling sorry for myself. (These injections entail putting a needle in a bundle of nerves to give them steroids. Eventually it helps, but at first, it’s just excruciating pain anytime you so much as look at your hands). Still, I got up, and let my dog out in the yard, got a phone pep talk, watched indulgence TV, went to bed and woke up to a lot less pain. The point is that the good moments and the bad moments all passed. And the decision to just keep sitting down one more time and writing still amounted to a great many pages.

5     5. Your problems are problems of privilege.

It’s hard, but try not to lose sight of the fact that your deadlines are all pretty arbitrary, your dissertation is not going to win the Nobel Peace Prize, and you are really, really lucky to be here, stressed about writing something you chose, something you love, rather than dealing with another kind of life calamity. In the last two weeks, no one I loved died, no dear friends moved away, no natural disaster struck my home and I am alright. This is not to minimize your experience or your hard work or even your suffering, but to remember that all of this is truly optional. If you're reading this, you are probably not living in abject poverty. You are not starving. But more than that, this is a labor of love and will result in you having even more privilege than you already do. Remember this is just a paper. Just a degree. Just two weeks. Or just five years. But not everything. And you are lucky if this is the hardest thing in your life. You are truly blessed to have the luxury of worrying first and foremost about the completion of a dissertation. Try to keep a little perspective, but be ok with it when you forget to have perspective too.

6    6.  Don’t believe you have to suffer to produce.

Really, truly ask yourself if shorter workdays result in more product and less pain. A monk once told me that people who write 12 hours a day in grad school seem to him to make a lot of noise and not get much done. And even at 8-hour workday jobs, people only produce for about 4.75 of those hours. (Sorry, you don't get the cite, because right now, I only put citations in ONE paper. You'll just have to Google it). Four hours is about my limit for good, hard work. Maybe yours is higher or lower. But consider that it might be far less than what you think it "should" be. See what happens if you let go of your expectations here.

7    7.  Look at the other side of the process.

First, try to be really clear with yourself about when you're working and when you're not. Reading this blog is not work. And instead of stressing out about your work, which you're probably already very good at, try to focus on using that "not" working time wisely. I take hot baths for my wrists when I get tired of writing, and I think about my next sections or I read a novel. Then I return refreshed. I could spend that 45 minutes staring at my screen or clicking through Facebook (getting ever more exhausted/frustrated), but I stop instead. In fact, I often advocating stopping when you’re on a roll, when you’re in the middle of a good thing. That’s how you come back to work excited to begin again. That’s how you keep momentum across days and weeks, not by getting to the point that you’re crying on your bed on a Saturday night and need all Sunday morning to feel human again. It’s counter-intuitive, but try to do more with less. Stop when it’s going well. Come back again strong and sharp because you never weakened yourself in the first place. 

6     8.  Begin Again.

Sitting down day after day is hard. Figure out what makes you do it. Tea & cookies? Writing in size 14-font? (Look at the pages fly by!) Calculating your percentage completion rate in the most favorable way possible---today by chapter, and tomorrow by page count? Find what makes you try again, just for one more day, and you will find you have done more than you expected. By the same token figure out what doesn't help you begin again. For me that lists includes saying any version of the following "I should have finished this chapter yesterday!" "This is total crap!" and "I'll never finish this." Instead, even if I'm possibly fibbing to myself I insist "I've got this. I am such a fast writer. Wow, this material is great." And I fall in love with my work all over again, and you've got it... I begin again. With enthusiasm. Which is the surest way I know to do great work.

***

These guidelines are not for everyone. There is much I can’t speak to. I don’t have children to care for, both of my jobs were incredibly flexible with me during this time, and I live in a beautiful community where I have access to all kinds of social supports and tools. All of these guidelines are fundamentally about knowing yourself and being kind and gentle. The work will get done. So try to find a way to do it that is fun or interesting or at least doesn't make you hate your life or miss out on summer. In my case, I would say it simply as: go plant some hydrangeas.


And then, begin again.